I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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