If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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