apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
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let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
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whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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