Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
