last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
