Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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