if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
