The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
