Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
