i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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