Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
