DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
