When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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