Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
