I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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