My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
