Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
