i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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