K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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