I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize