I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I can't put those talents on a resume
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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