You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
