Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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