I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
