If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
