he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
So vagazzling was a success
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
