Are we in a gay sports bar?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
