i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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