I wanna bring you to show and tell
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
