Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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