either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
