So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
