his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
