I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Your dad touched me again.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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