You really coming over, don't trick.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
