glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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