And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize