yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
