big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
