he told me I talked like a deaf person
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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