One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize