Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
