its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
