i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
