Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
