just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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