the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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