Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
