Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
