WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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