i just had sex bonerless
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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