nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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