You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm just crazy horny about you
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
