i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
