did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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