Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
