I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
