You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize